Are you and your Ukrainian lady interdependent?

Oftentimes men tell me that they do not want to tell the truth in their relationships simply because they really do not want to upset their wives. However, as I see it, that actually means these men do not really want to feel bad about disappointing their wives. These are 2 very different things. I understand that you don’t want to see your Ukrainian lady upset; nevertheless, it definitely doesn’t mean you have to do everything and anything you could just to prevent her from having a negative emotion as that’s the very definition of co-dependency.

• You are responsible for your own feelings and emotions.

Truthfully, you are not even responsible for your wife’s feelings because you can only be responsible for your own emotions and feelings. Let me explain.

In a good marriage, two people are interdependent. By that I mean you are relational and independent at the same time.

1. Relational: You are supportive of each other. You are attentive in this marriage. You are responsible for being kind, caring and respectful to each other.
2. Independent: You are respectful to yourself as well. You look after your own needs and express your truth to each other.

When these two aspects are combined properly, you can certainly express your truth in a respectful, kind and caring manner! ?

That means your Ukrainian lady is responsible for managing her own response to your truth which is presented respectfully. If she is disappointed by the truth, it’s actually okay. It’s perfectly okay to feel bad. Nobody can feel good all the time. Life is never full of 100% happy feelings and completely positive emotions. Negative feelings, disappointment and hard emotions are a real part of life regularly.

That also means your Ukrainian lady is supposed to be respectful to you when you share your truth with her. That’s exactly how you are able to have authentic discussions and solve problems in a relationship where differences possibly exist.

• Don’t mind-read your Ukrainian lady.

If you want to make sure that she is happy although you do not even want what she wants, communication in this relationship will eventually go bad because it’s so confusing – it’s just manipulation which is wrapped up as a “gift” – nobody will really get what they want in the end. That’s not a win-win situation as it’s either a win-lose situation & more likely it’s a lose-lose scenario in the long term.

You are supposed to know your truth. You should express your truth respectfully, clearly and cleanly. When you receive your wife’s truth, you need to have an open heart. Always have discussions with compassion and curiosity while remaining respectful, caring and kind. In this way, you will be able to handle any problem in your marriage. Even if someone doesn’t get what they truly want, they still feel understood, heard and supported at all times. Well, as a matter of fact, if you manage the dynamics well, you will literally build something that can work for you and your Ukrainian lady in the long run.

“You can’t read anyone’s mind, so please have genuine discussions in your marriage. Spending quality time with your Ukrainian lady doesn’t mean you travel the world together and have exciting dates all the time. In fact, it means you are able to be totally honest with each other without judging each other.”