Are you too picky in international dating?

international dating

When a well-meaning and coupled-up relative or friend gives you a piece of dating advice as for why you are single, chances are they would say, “You are too picky”. I know this is a bit annoying – Is being picky the same as having very high standards?

Being picky VS having high standards:

If you would like to know whether your standards are too high (if that’s keeping you from meeting the right candidate and starting the relationship that you want), I’ll help you get to the bottom of this today!

Please read this article carefully so you can figure out whether you have the right standards in the right place for your love life or whether you have unhealthy expectations that are too high to be met in reality.

First, ask yourself, “Do I bring to the table all the traits that I’d love to have in my partner?”

Everyone can sit here and describe their ideal partner. She would surely be the best person in the world. Well-educated, elegant, awesome, very good-looking…. Yet if you have standards like that, you are probably describing a perfect person instead of somebody that will connect with you realistically. You may do this through thinking of what you can bring to the table rather than looking for traits in a woman you haven’t even worked them out in yourself in the first place.

You may go back to your drawing board and then work on yourself so you would have these traits: confidence, intelligence, security …. These are the qualities that you would love to bring to a relationship.

Second, please ask yourself, “Are all the standards on my list superficial?” If your criteria are superficial, please watch out – it’s all about height, age, ethnicity, family background, education level, job title, etc. I understand that these things certainly have some bearing on the compatibility in a relationship, but they are usually not as important as how you actually connect as two individuals. Hence, you probably should think about how you relate to a woman. Even if you want to date the most attractive woman on the planet, that doesn’t really equal a healthy relationship or a relationship in which you will feel safe, secure and loved.

Are your standards realistic?

In other words, are you happy to have something that’s good enough?

Many individuals would disagree with this viewpoint because everyone is thinking… “I only want the best”. Nevertheless, life is always filled with imperfections. Your partner is not perfect. You are not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Your romantic relationship is not going to be perfect, either.

Seeking perfection will stop you from having the love that you desire. There will be things that you and your partner disagree on. There will be things that you hope were different about your partner. There will be issues that you need to fix. Nonetheless, it doesn’t mean a relationship is wrong.

I was married when I was younger. Frankly, it took me a long time to find someone to start a long-term relationship with in my 20s. He was not perfect; he was someone who was offering a serious relationship that could work. Although I’m not married to him anymore, I still think that marriage was successful because it was right at that time. Even though we are divorced now, I still believe that he is amazing. I also know many people who have been happily married for decades simply because they have realistic standards.

Don’t focus on minor flaws.

Typical examples of minor flaws in international dating:

  1. You don’t like one of her cousins.
  2. She didn’t wear the right shoes on the first date.
  3. She doesn’t like the coffee that you drink every day.

When you only focus on a small flaw, you might lose perspective on international dating. Please do not seek perfection. Just ask yourself, “Is this good enough for me?” Stop focusing on minor flaws. Start focusing on the positive traits a lady brings to the table.

“A good relationship makes you mature, confident and secure.”

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