Before joining an online dating site, look after yourself when you go solo

In his book Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, Eric Klinenberg points out that 40% of the population in Sweden, Norway, Denmark and Finland live alone; 30% of the population in Japan live alone; in Germany, France, the United Kingdom, Canada and Australia, more than 28% of the population live alone; in the United States, about 26% of the population live alone; China, India and Brazil’s solo group are growing the fastest of all. The statistics are from 2012, which means currently, these numbers are even higher. It is reported that in the United States, more than 50% of the adult population are single in 2022. Obviously, going solo is a trend right now. Therefore, if you feel slightly embarrassed because you are not in a relationship, don’t worry – you are not alone – there are so many people who live alone as they are not in relationships either. Of course, relationships are absolutely beautiful and romantic love is the most beautiful thing in the world. But before you join an online dating website in order to find a relationship, you’d better learn how to look after yourself so you can build an amazing life that you’ll share with your partner.

• Being happy when you’re single is the prerequisite of attracting a relationship via online dating.

The mainstream culture in English-speaking countries doesn’t really value the single lifestyle very much, as evidenced by popular songs such as “Alone” and “All by Myself”. I understand that loneliness isn’t fun. In reality, some single people wake up feeling a combination of dread, grief and loneliness because in many ways, the mainstream society discriminates against single people. For example, married people get more benefits in terms of taxes and insurance, whereas it is said that a single person who has never been married in his/her life would pay about one million dollars more than a married person when it comes to taxes, insurance, etc. – that’s how much extra a single person has to pay in their lifetime. What’s more, living alone means paying more rent and nobody is sharing the electricity, water, telephone and internet bills with you! Indeed, you have to pay more because of your single lifestyle. However, in spite of the higher cost, an increasing number of individuals prefer the single lifestyle due to various reasons:

1. They are well-educated and have good jobs, so they can afford to rent expensive apartments. They just want to fully enjoy their freedom.
2. They are divorced and now they prefer living alone because they tend to believe that a single lifestyle is more suitable for them.
3. They are single senior citizens who have adult children, but they do not want to live with their adult children because they want complete freedom at home.

Having said that, there is a difference between living alone and being single. In fact, many people who are in relationships don’t live with their partners because they want to live alone and only visit their partners a few times a week. If you want to have a relationship, please note that you have to be happy when you’re single in the first place, for you can only attract a high-quality woman when you are a happy man! ?

• Be passionate about life.

Even if you aren’t very passionate right now, I’d like you to bring passion to everything you do. 

Do you have any hobbies/interests? What makes you genuinely happy? Do those things today! For instance, Dino likes singing because it’s a therapeutic activity & he is going to a karaoke bar with his friends tonight. Actually, single people have a much more active social life as most single people are more connected to their friends, whereas married people literally have fewer friends, according to a recent study. In other words, a married person has “the one”, while a single person has “the ones” – Dino does different things with different people in his social circle, e.g., Dino goes to the karaoke bar with his best friends Ben and Alexandra who also love singing (they are great singers and are planning on becoming a band); he travels with his friend Craig who has already travelled the world and wants to do that more; he goes to the movies with his neighbor Douglas who is a huge movie fan (they are going to start a podcast about movies soon). Dino’s life is very exciting and interesting. ?

What’s more, Dino is very passionate about his work. Previously, he was the editor-in-chief of a high-end magazine. He absolutely loved his job at that time, but realistically, his interest changed, which is normal. When he was still employed by the magazine, he started a side hustle which truly energized him – he became a freelance writer. Here is his rationale: If he works as the editor-in-chief forever, he must follow all the rules from the magazine. But if he works as a self-employed freelance writer, he can basically write whatever he wants. The magazine was paying him US$100,000 a year; several years later, his side hustle generated US$60,000 a year. Therefore, he decided to quit his day job and focus on his side hustle only. Within one year after he left the magazine, his side hustle generated US$70,000 a year. Now his side hustle is becoming even better, so he is a very happy man.

Dino has joined our online dating site because he would like to meet a lady from Eastern Europe. I’m sure he will find a high-value lady, as he is a happy, passionate, confident and intelligent man.

“When you are passionate about your single life, you will attract a high-quality lady and start a great relationship.”