In the world of online dating, you have to learn to present yourself as the man you want to be.
The nature of men in online dating
The modern dating culture in Western countries has made many men demonstrate beta qualities because a lot of men think “being nice and polite” is a lovely trait. As a matter of fact, being “nice and polite” is probably the least attractive quality. There is a fundamental difference between “nice and polite” and “kind”. Everyone knows that being kind is definitely a good trait. However, being “nice and polite” oftentimes comes from a totally different place. You want somebody to like you, or you’re asking for things, or you try to get something from somebody; then you have to be nice and polite. In other words, kindness is real generosity, as it’s a giver’s alpha mindset. But “being nice and polite” is a taker’s beta mindset. According to the Law of Reciprocity, you can only get what you give. Before you enter the online dating space, you would be well-advised to build an alpha mindset.
How do we define an alpha mindset?
An alpha mindset is a creator and leader’s mindset.
In life, love, and business, you either wait for opportunities to arise or create opportunities by yourself. Waiting for destiny to send you an amazing girlfriend is like staking your financial future on the lottery. The lottery is obviously a lousy way to become wealthy. A real man creates a great love life by design, not by default.
As a guy in dating & relationships, you either lead or be misled. Your lady wants you to be the leader as you are the real man.
Why is an alpha mindset absolutely necessary?
When you have a truly alpha mindset, the way you communicate with ladies will change accordingly. Hence, you will get very different results in dating and relationships.
I remember an old Zen saying, “The way an individual does one thing is the way they do everything”. This philosophy isn’t just about online dating. In truth, having an alpha mindset will upgrade the way you operate in your daily life as when you become the leader in your reality, you will transform your world. You will have new hobbies, new friends and probably a new career. How you do anything is how you do everything!
The art of choosing your life
Honestly, having an alpha mindset alone isn’t enough as in order to create the wonderful life you desire, you need other elements as well.
1) hard work;
2) intelligence;
3) luck.
Among those 3 aspects, the no. 1 variable is how hard you are happy to work. That being said, you can work twice as hard as your competitor, but you probably can’t work 10 times harder than your competitor. What’s more, you can improve your intelligence through learning new knowledge and skills. Lastly, you can improve your luck through building a powerful network as luck is usually determined by who you know as well as who knows you. As I see it, who knows you is more important than who you know. If you know the President of the United States, it doesn’t mean you can ask him to give you a dream job. But if the President of the United States knows you and there is a great job opportunity that he can offer, he may think about you!
Learn to lay the foundation for your future
Apparently, having an alpha mindset is the foundation for your future success. An alpha mindset is the prerequisite for everything you deserve. I’d like to offer you an analogy: an alpha mindset is the root of a big tree. All skills and knowledge are the branches of this tree. The root of the big tree gives every branch the nutrition it needs and influences the stability and health of every branch. Obviously, you can only make full use of your skills and knowledge when you have an alpha mindset.
If you don’t cultivate an alpha mindset, none of your technical skills in online dating will work. You can use every single dating skill when you are communicating with a lady, but the moment a lady notices how you communicate with the rest of the world, she will surely lose interest. You tend to demonstrate beta behaviour as your behaviour is strongly influenced by your mindset. Don’t underestimate the power of a lady’s intuition. She can figure out who you really are when you cannot handle situations in an alpha way. As a result, every modern man definitely needs an alpha mindset.
60 years ago, no one was talking about ‘how to be alpha’, as evidenced by the TV show Mad Men which is about realism and how men behaved in the 60s. Men were alpha at that time as that’s every guy’s natural state. Mad Men is not necessarily the best story on the planet, yet its cultural and historical accuracy is impressive. Now the culture has changed. In modern society, men find dating quite hard with modern masculinity is being challenged as well. Therefore, how to be alpha is a frequent topic of discussion right now.
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