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Dating a Ukrainian girlfriend: How to tell if a relationship is sustainable

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Love is not easy.

If it’s easy, then most people would have found true love. Because it’s not easy, a lot of people feel jaded and hurt in the dating department. But you don’t have to be one of them as dating is a skill that can be learned.

If you even have to ask, “Does she love me?”, that means the relationship isn’t healthy.

Love is a very strong emotion. Never underestimate the emotive power of love. When a woman from Ukraine loves you, you would know it because Ukrainian women are very honest – they don’t lie.

Therefore, if you are wondering whether your girlfriend loves you or not, then she doesn’t love you. Period.

You don’t need to spend 10 hours talking to your friends about what your lady has done and analyze whether she loves you. You don’t need to hire a dating coach and ask for a professional opinion. If you can’t even feel her love, she doesn’t love you.

Is your relationship a bona fide relationship?

According to American author Ginie Sayles, a bona fide relationship is one in which both individuals have the same goals for this relationship.

You will know whether a woman from Ukraine has the same goals for this relationship if she has the same level of interest in you as you do in her AND if she has similar or the same expectations as you.

Let’s say you want a long-term relationship and she wants a marriage. Meanwhile, you are in love with her and she is also in love with you. That means this is a bona fide relationship.

Only bona fide relationships are healthy. When your blueprint doesn’t match her blueprint, the relationship is not healthy.

Do you have compatible value systems?

When your value system and a woman’s value system are incompatible, you can’t get along. Usually, that’s the root of an unhealthy relationship.

For instance, you highly value career success, so you work 16 hours a day every day. But she values quality time with her partner, so she needs you to spend at least four hours with her every day. In this case, you two don’t have compatible value systems, so this relationship isn’t healthy.

In contrast, you value knowledge, so you read 1 book per week. Meanwhile, your Ukrainian woman values artistic expression, so she is always watching a movie on the couch. In this situation, when you are reading a book, she is watching a movie. Thus, you two have compatible value systems, and this relationship is healthy.

Do you have compatible flaws?

Everyone has flaws, and that’s absolutely normal. In fact, any lady will have some kind of flaws that you can’t really stand (and you also have some flaws that women can’t stand).

Having said that, compatible flaws never ruin the relationship.

Now please let me show you two scenarios.

Scenario A:

Larry is dating Olga, a very elegant lady. Larry loves smoking and he is always smoking cigarettes. Olga is allergic to most things such as dogs, cats and cigarettes due to her highly sensitive body. Larry has to smoke cigarettes, but Olga can’t get close to him because of that. They break up pretty quickly.

Scenario B:

After breaking up with Olga, Larry is dating another woman from Ukraine Victoria. Victoria doesn’t smoke, but she loves drinking a little bit wine. When Larry is smoking, Victoria is drinking a little wine. As a result, they are happily married now.

As you can see, in Scenario A, Larry’s flaw and Olga’s flaw are incompatible. But in Scenario B, Larry’s flaw and Victoria’s flaw are compatible. That’s why Larry and Olga’s relationship isn’t sustainable, whilst Larry and Victoria’s relationship is sustainable.

Yes, having something in common is important, but having compatible flaws is even more important.

A flaw that is always a deal-breaker: When this relationship isn’t her top priority….

As we all know, Ukrainian women are generally quite traditional, so they want to treat their men very well and they highly value marriage. Hence, most women from Ukraine think their relationship should be their No. 1 priority.

If a woman has any priority ahead of her relationship with you, that is a deal-breaker. It’s not a healthy relationship.

Another situation is if you are dating a very ambitious woman and you notice that her No. 1 goal is to move to a big city so that she can become a successful businesswoman/supermodel/whatever, that means she has other priorities ahead of her romantic relationship with you. In this scenario, it doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t love you. In fact, she probably loves you. But she loves her career ambition more. Then in the future, when she meets another guy who can better help her with her career success, she may consider giving up her romantic relationship with you. So, you must be aware of that possibility and be prepared, okay?

How many flaws and how many assets does she have?

Now you are not sure whether you should marry your girlfriend because she has some flaws that drive you mad. It’s time to write down her flaws and her assets.

Here is a very typical example:

Anna’s flaws:

  1. She is indecisive.
  2. Her English isn’t ideal.

Anna’s assets:

  1. She is so elegant.
  2. She is very caring.
  3. She is kind.
  4. She is honest.
  5. She is capable.
  6. She respects her man at all times.

Because Anna has 6 assets and 2 flaws, she is still a very good candidate. A long-term relationship with her should be very healthy.

Of course, you also need to assess the degree of a woman’s flaws. If a flaw is so big that it dominates this relationship, then it’s definitely an unhealthy relationship. Otherwise, if a lady has many more assets than flaws, she is able to have a healthy and sustainable romantic relationship with a man.

Apart from that, Ukrainian women from good families are usually better candidates who are able to stay in healthy relationships. This is more important than you think because a person’s childhood is influenced by their family & almost every psychological problem is caused by childhood trauma to some degree.

A case in point is Kendall, a woman who had a difficult childhood. When she was young, her father had a 7-year affair with their neighbor and she knew it. As a consequence, her parents’ marriage was characterized by stress, conflicts, arguments and even violence. I know that is not the worst-case scenario because there are many people who had worse childhood experiences (e.g. 50 cent) and they still managed to become successful in life. What I’m saying is in Kendall’s case, she has developed a kind of fear regarding marriage. That’s why she couldn’t even stay in long-term relationships with men.

“Dating Ukrainian women is an important skill that can be learned.”

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