Dating Ukrainian Women: This Moment Contains All Moments

C. S. Lewis famously said, “This moment contains all moments”.

I love this quote very much. I can’t even tell you how much I love it. This quote perfectly describes what I think is the best thing in life, i.e. its unlimited possibilities. Every moment gives us a new chance to learn something new, to discover what we didn’t know before, to embrace joy and love, and yes, to meet beautiful people and build genuine connections.

An interaction that changed my worldview

Two years ago, I was working in an office where a new colleague just joined the team. Because I didn’t sleep well the previous night, I was in a bad mood. So, when another co-worker (a Ukrainian lady) asked this new colleague not to open the shared spreadsheet because she couldn’t edit it, I thought she was talking about me. Then I looked at this new colleague’s computer and realized that he opened that spreadsheet. Due to the confusion and brain fog, I literally said to the new colleague angrily, “John, don’t open that spreadsheet. She can’t do the editing!”

After saying that to the new colleague, I thought…oh, now he would hate me. Meanwhile, the female colleague (the Ukrainian woman) who asked him not to open that spreadsheet looked very embarrassed due to obvious reasons.

But what happened next really surprised me. This new colleague asked me, “Are you going to New Zealand?”

Well, I was talking about going to New Zealand with another co-worker in the office a few days ago, and this new colleague overheard our conversation. Now he would like to know my plans for the holiday.

He broke my pattern.

I was very, very astonished and impressed by this guy’s response to my madness at that time.

Last week, I told him that he changed my worldview because I really like the way he was handling that situation. He only vaguely remembers that incident, but he told me that he was deeply moved as I was telling him how much I liked his response to my strange anger.

“I was suddenly mad at you for no reason,” I said to him, “The Ukrainian woman in the office was embarrassed. But the way you were dealing with that situation was so good. I should have met you 20 years ago. If I met you 20 years ago, my life would be very different today. How did you know that? I’ve never seen that before. When you asked me ‘Are you going to New Zealand?’, I was wondering ‘What has just happened?’ I was very impressed by you. I’m pretty sure the Ukrainian lady in the office was impressed as well.”

“You can’t change your past,” he said to me peacefully, “Well, I had good influence in my life when I was young.”

What I learned from that interaction

Actually, I learned more than communication skills from that interaction. Here is a list of my learnings:

1. It’s not about what happens to you; it’s about how you respond to what happens to you.

When Bill Clinton was interviewed by a Chinese journalist, the Chinese journalist asked him embarrassing questions about Monica Lewinsky (which made Bill Clinton’s assistants in the studio upset). Bill Clinton said, “My enemies used that against me. But it’s not about what happens in my life. It’s all about how I respond to what has happened.” That’s pure gold.

Similarly, my new colleague John chose to respond to that situation in a wise and mature way.

2. What actually determines the nature of an interaction is C.

Here is what happened in the office two years ago:

A: The Ukrainian woman found that she couldn’t edit the spreadsheet because John opened it at the same time.

B: I thought the Ukrainian lady was talking about me; due to my confusion and lack of sleep, I told John off.

C: Instead of making things worse, John asked me, “Are you going to New Zealand?”

Therefore, John was able to eliminate the unnecessary stress & the meaningless conflict immediately.

3. Someone like John can stay married to 80% of the population.

Because of the nature of my work, I teach men how to date Ukrainian women. Truthfully, I would argue that if most men can operate like John, this world will become a much better place.

There is a type of people who can be married to at least 80% of the population and their love lives will be peaceful and positive due to their personality as well as the way they handle difficult situations.

So, if you are looking to date Ukrainian ladies and build long-term relationships, you may need to learn a thing or two from my colleague John. ?

“After that famous incident, I asked my boss to keep John on the team.”