Frequently Asked Questions in the Online Dating World

If you are a newbie in the online dating world – Welcome! We understand that you may have some burning questions. In order to help you in this journey, I’m going to be addressing common concerns and questions people have when navigating the online dating world.

Let’s dive in!

1. How should I set boundaries in the right way?

Boundaries are imperative in any relationship, especially with your significant other. Effective communication is the cornerstone of this process!

Always communicate with each other cleanly and clearly. Many people find it hard to manage relationships because they don’t know how to strike a balance between compromises and getting their needs met.

The key to a successful relationship is setting clear boundaries. If there is something that you can’t do for your partner, you’d better be honest from the beginning. Otherwise, resentment will grow, which is bad for the relationship.

Think about your non-negotiables, the things that are really important to you and can’t be compromised. Make sure you talk about them with your partner openly to make sure you both understand each other and have a harmonious relationship.

2. How can I get my needs met in a relationship?

To have your needs met in a relationship, focus on ensuring your partner’s needs are satisfied first. When your partner is content, it becomes much easier to express and fulfill your own desires and get your needs met. When your partner’s happiness and satisfaction are addressed, it often leads to a more receptive and accommodating environment in which you can express your own needs and desires with greater ease. This mutual consideration and care contribute to the overall well-being of the relationship.

This approach helps create a balanced and loving dynamic where both individuals feel valued and appreciated. Ultimately, it’s a key ingredient in building a strong and fulfilling relationship where the satisfaction of both partners is a shared goal.

3. What is the No. 1 relationship killer?

A lot of people think lack of communication is the biggest relationship killer. But as I see it, things like lack of communication and lack of a shared vision are simply the symptoms of the real No. 1 relationship killer: unresolved trauma.

First of all, unresolved trauma is usually dismissed or unexplored.

When individuals experience issues in romantic relationships, they often focus on looking for solutions to problems, which is understandable. Nevertheless, when the same problem arises repeatedly, unresolved trauma is probably the fundamental reason why people have to solve the same problem again and again.

For instance, Simon is an attractive guy in his late 30s. Each time he is in a romantic relationship with a woman through online dating, his anxiety and neediness would ruin the entire experience. His family and friends told him that the right woman would give him a sense of certainty and security; therefore, he is supposed to look for the right woman. His psychologist told him that it is actually his neediness that makes women leave him. Further analysis reveals that the real reason behind his unreasonable neediness is a kind of dread, i.e., fear of abandonment: When Simon was 3 years of age, his mom left; consequently, he grew up with his violent and alcoholic dad.

If Simon’s trauma is unresolved, similar patterns would keep happening in all his relationships.

Second, it’s totally possible to heal your life and have a good relationship even if you have unresolved trauma.

In truth, trauma is very common. Most people avoid talking about this unpleasant topic. Actually, I may even argue that almost everybody has some type of unresolved trauma. But the fantastic news is you are able to heal your life. If you can afford professional therapy, you try EMDR amongst other suitable therapy types for trauma.

One way is to focus on things that make you happy. Make a list of at least 100 things that bring you joy and try to do at least two of them every day. This helps you take control of your emotions and prevents your past from holding you back. It’s a reminder that you have the power to shape your own future and find happiness.

Please do not allow your past to define your future.

4. What are the common mistakes that people make on the first date?

The first common mistake is talking excessively without listening. This often leads to two consequences: A) You end up self-absorbed, and

B) You reveal too much too soon.

Over-talking also hinders your ability to listen attentively. It’s essential to strike a balance by asking your date questions and actively listening to their responses on that crucial first meeting

The second mistake is talking too much about your ex-partner. When the context is right, you can talk about your ex-partner. While there is a time and place for discussing past relationships, it’s important not to bring up your ex intentionally. Your date is interested in knowing that you’ve moved on from your past and are fully prepared to embrace a new chapter in your life through online dating.

5. How can I make the first date better?

First and foremost, you are not supposed to show extremely high expectations on the first date. I mean your standards should be high, but at this stage, your expectations can’t be too high. The first date is an opportunity for you to find out more about each other so that you will know if she is the right candidate or not.

Second, you’d better choose the right activity for the first date. Going to a local gallery or a coffee shop is a good activity because it’s more flexible. A dinner date is not a great activity on the first date because it’s too long.

When you go to the museum on the first date, there is always an external focus; hence, you won’t worry about what to talk about!

So, as you venture into the world of online dating, think of it as you would a curious cat—exploring, learning, and savoring each new experience. With an open heart and a desire for connection, you’re on the path to finding love and happiness in the world of SimplyDating. Register today.