How to effectively manage a marriage to a Ukrainian wife

If you’re looking for a real relationship that can last for a lifetime, Ukraine is certainly the best place in the world, because women from Ukraine are feminine, beautiful, elegant and traditional. These qualities are not very common among women in western countries these days. And if you’re married to a Ukrainian wife, you can manage this wonderful marriage effectively as long as you implement the following strategies.

Become an active listener rather than a passive listener.

If you’ve read a women’s book or magazine, you would know that a lot of ladies complain about their husbands for not listening to them in their daily life. Some ladies even write to columnists from the newspaper to ask for relationship advice. I personally received many emails about how to make their husbands listen to them in their marriages. You may wonder why this is happening.

Well, the reason is quite simple – your wife from Ukraine wants to know that you care. When you aren’t even listening to her, she doesn’t feel appreciated by you. Note that ladies are validated by male attention, so she needs to feel sufficient attention from you in this relationship.

I understand that you certainly don’t want your wife to nag you every single day; therefore, you should marry a Ukrainian bride who is well-educated and doesn’t nag in the first place. In this way, you are able to manage a sustainable and healthy marriage from the start.

Next time when your Ukrainian wife is saying something important, please make sure that you are actually listening to your wife. It’s not hard to do, okay?

By the way, I’m not saying you must remember all details that she has mentioned. I mean you would be well-advised to show her that you care and you are listening to her. You can do that and it’s easy.

How to become an active listener:

Strategy 1: Echoing.

As an effective strategy which is commonly used in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), echoing is a powerful technique that you can use to facilitate effective communication in your marriage. Here’s an example:

YOUR WIFE: “I’m stressed out today.”

YOU: “Oh, you’re stressed out. Tell me what happened.”

YOUR WIFE: “My supervisor was angry just because I didn’t remember to update his work diary before 8:30am this morning.”

YOU: “He was angry? Is that serious?”

YOUR WIFE: “He becomes angry quite frequently. I don’t know why he is so mad all the time. Perhaps he is jealous of my skills and capabilities.”

YOU: “He is jealous? Maybe that’s because you are very capable, more capable than him and he feels threatened by you?”

…

From this example, it can be seen that you begin every sentence by repeating an element from what your Ukrainian wife says. Therefore, she feels that you have understood her immediately. This is a good technique that you may use so as to be an active listener in your marriage.

Strategy 2: Let your Ukrainian bride talk to you and understand what she’s actually saying; avoid giving her solutions when she isn’t asking for a solution.

Women are very different from men in various ways. In human communication, men usually think of solutions fast when they hear an issue. However, usually, women just want to discuss issues so as to connect with other people. Consequently, if you only give a solution when your wife tells you about a problem, that’s not effective communication, as oftentimes she only wants you to listen and understand her. Your job is to give your Ukrainian bride emotional support and be there for her when she feels sad or upset rather than offering a dry solution to an issue.

Having said that, you may provide your Ukrainian lady with a solution towards the end of the discussion. Yet you have to connect with her in the first place, okay?

Never neglect your bride from Ukraine.

I know this sounds so obvious (even sounds like a cliché). Nevertheless, a lot of men just can’t do it. Some men literally neglect their wives and assume it’s fine. I remember many years ago I interviewed a woman who told me that her husband always walked very quickly but she walked slowly. As a consequence, every time they went out for a walk, her husband was walking in front of her every single time. Sometimes he was walking 20 meters ahead…then 2 miles ahead.

This lady said, “I said to myself at that time: ‘If we can get divorced now, I would sign the divorce document immediately’ – I felt neglected by that guy and I was so lonely in that marriage.”

Two years later when I met this woman again, she told me that her divorce was finalized already.

Yes, this sounds like something small, but it indicates something big – her ex-husband didn’t really care on many levels (at least his actions showed her that intention very clearly).

So, it is obvious that if a guy neglects his wife, she would know it immediately – women’s intuition is very strong and powerful. Never underestimate women’s intuition!

When that unfortunate situation keeps happening, a guy like that just couldn’t stay married for a long time. Sad but true.

I understand that a lot of guys have legitimate reasons like busy careers, demanding friends or family members, and so forth. Nonetheless, you need to clarify what’s actually more important to you in your life – is your marriage more important or other things?

Avoid acting like a woman.

I know, I know – this sounds too strange. You are asking, “What exactly are you talking about? Do I look like a woman?!”

Please let me explain.

In today’s day and age, a lot of guys literally act like women. But I’m not saying they are cross-dressers. I mean they are just as emotional and sensitive as women. Frankly, there is nothing wrong with sensitivity and emotions, yet that’s very strong feminine energy.

A large number of gay men have strong feminine energy and that’s okay. For example, the most famous Australian pop singer Darren Hayes (the front man of Savage Garden) has a lot of feminine energy, and that adds texture, personality and attractiveness to his performance on the stage and his beautiful voice in the studio. Darren Hayes is considered the best male vocalist of all time. That’s perfectly fine and he is actually gay. In his 20s, he was married to a woman, but then he figured out that he can’t control or change his sexuality, so he divorced his ex-wife and now he is happily married to a very good-looking Englishman.

As a straight man, if you’re emotional and sensitive too frequently, your Ukrainian bride might be stressed out as she has to be careful and walk on egg shells all the time. If she isn’t careful enough, you may be offended or feel hurt very easily.

The majority of Ukrainian women are relaxed; thus, if you prefer stressing them out, they probably wouldn’t want to date you for a long time.

“When you become an active listener, you have an unfair advantage because most men can’t compete with you anymore – women will choose you due to this rare quality!”