How to protect yourself & avoid losers, users and abusers in dating and relationships

July 30, 2020 at 1.41pm by in Dating advice
dating and relationships

Some people have complained about losers, users and abusers in dating & relationships. Though no one is completely immune to bad relationships, there are many ways to protect yourself! I hope you will learn a thing or two from this blog post today.

You have to have high standards and stick to your standards at all times.

You join the dating scene so as to find love, yet the uncomfortable realism is losers, users and abusers do exist in the society. Please keep reading!

Remember: You’re teaching others how to treat you. Without high standards, you are literally saying, “I am willing to accept whatever treatment you give me.” Sad but true.

Hence, you should totally set high standards and never settle for less. In fact, if you choose to settle for less, you will always get less than what you settle for.

So long as you are able to remember this principle, you will avoid losers, users and abusers in dating and relationships.

Note that if you do not stick to your high standards, you are very vulnerable as you could be influenced by a user significantly. A user may talk you into doing whatever they want you to do, unfortunately. When you do not know what you want, lack of clarity will mislead you in so many ways. This is so dangerous.

What if you are already in a toxic relationship?

People who have watched the popular American TV show Mad Men possibly remember that Donald Draper sleeps with ladies for professional reasons. Don Draper had a casual relationship with Bobbie so as to profit from Bobbie’s husband. He had a casual fling with Rachel in order to land that account. Then he had another fling with Faye in order to improve his career. I don’t know whether Don has ever loved these women or not; however, he has certainly used these ladies.

As a matter of fact, Don is not in a real relationship with any of those ladies, as he never gives these ladies a commitment in the first place. Thus, people don’t hate Don. Yet can you imagine that you’re in one of those women’s shoes when you are actually in a real relationship with a user?

Well, that sounds quite difficult. Please read the true story below.

I know a lady called Sandra who was married to a typical user. Let’s call him Brad (These aren’t their real names.) Brad married Sandra as he knew that Sandra comes from an affluent family and has a very good career. However, Brad isn’t a top performer – he is quite an ambitious man with an agenda. He found a way to get Sandra to move to Los Angeles with him so that he could have more business opportunities in Los Angeles. Sandra said yes to that idea. In theory, Brad used Sandra and then they moved to L.A. for Brad’s future career. Nevertheless, in actuality, Sandra is a switched-on woman – she moved to L.A. for herself and her own future career & life.

Basically, Sandra outsmarted Brad by levelling up in Los Angeles. She left her previous position and found a very high-profile job in Los Angeles. Also, she knew that her marriage was a sham marriage based on the way Brad was treating her. This smart cookie figured out that Brad was just using her for his secret agenda. Therefore, she gradually became distant in that marriage and then started to date a decent guy in Los Angeles.

As I’m writing this blog post now, Sandra has divorced Brad already. Since Brad is a user and a loser at the same time, he couldn’t succeed in L.A. and has gone back to that small town. Right now, Sandra and her new boyfriend Phil are happily engaged. Clearly, Sandra has out-used that user, for she is very intelligent and practical in dating and relationships.

How to out-use & out-smart users, abusers and manipulators:

If you are already in a toxic relationship, here’s the ultimate advice –

  1. Please note that you can out-use a user at any time so long as you are aware of what you can negotiate for. Actually, in life, you do not get what you want or deserve; you only get what you are able to negotiate for. What the user wants is exactly what motivates this person; therefore, you just have to use what this person wants to entice the user. After that, you should find a method to get what you desire. Once you have got what you desire, it’s time to leave the relationship quickly, for if you stay in that toxic relationship, the user may take 10 times back in the future. By the way, if you are wondering what the user will do after you are gone, I can tell you that the user will be quiet nine times out of ten, because the user does not want other people to know that someone out-used them! It’s such a shame – it’s not something that the user would be proud of.
  2. If you’re in a relationship with a toxic manipulator, you are literally playing chess on a daily basis, sadly. That being said, if you are actually in this scenario, you can be a smart cookie and negotiate with the manipulator tactfully. Do not let the manipulator know what you are up to. Always make sure that your private life and professional life both have nothing to do with the manipulator. Yes, this can be done. For example, you would be well-advised to set up your own bank account in another bank or find an effective way to keep your money yours only; if you’ve changed your job, do not tell the manipulator about it. Try not to introduce the manipulator to your social circle. When you have got what you negotiate for, you can formulate an exit strategy fast and leave the manipulator in record time. Remember: you are the most important person in the universe, so you have to protect yourself and your own interests.
  3. Out-using the abuser is quite simple. You’re the victim; as a result, you are automatically entitled to all kinds of support from family, friends and the government. You can even officially ask for compensation from the abuser. Take the abuser to the court if it’s necessary.

After ending the toxic relationship….

If you have left the toxic relationship, it’s time to move on! I know social distancing is necessary because of the current pandemic, so you have to be a creative dater when you join the dating scene again.

Firstly, you should try a virtual date. This can be done on because our website offers online video chat with automatic translation. And Ukrainian ladies in our database are learning English all the time because they want to communicate with men like you more effectively. Secondly, why not have a virtual dinner date online and then watch a movie on Netflix with your date? Netflix has recently introduced a feature that allows two individuals to chat online when they watch the same film.

“Be a highly creative dater with social distancing.”

Commenting rules

Members comments are welcome and we encourage comments and discussions.

We ask that you put some thought in to your posts and that you follow these commenting rules and guidelines:

  • Refrain from personal attacks on other contributing members
  • No names or contact details of site users
  • No links to other sites
  • No unsubstantiated claims that have not been reported to us previously at [email protected]

Failure to comply with these rules may result in your comment not being published.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. All fields are required