How to end overthinking and begin international dating

June 9, 2022 at 10.30am by in International Dating, Online Dating
international dating

When what you think of gets in the way of what you really want, you are overthinking. Jon Acuff points out that the ultimate solution to endless overthinking is not to stop thinking altogether; in fact, the real solution is to run your brain with much better soundtracks, i.e., when you choose your soundtracks, you will surely end overthinking quickly! If overthinking is the reason why you haven’t started international dating yet, this blog post is for you!

  • How do soundtracks work?

A few years ago, I sat in front of my laptop in complete silence. Yet that was how overthinking started – as I had no soundtrack in the brain, overthinking literally became my soundtrack on my mind.

Recently, I realized that the fastest way to stop overthinking when I’m at work is having a soundtrack chosen by me in the background, as the background soundtrack helps me concentrate on my work. Oftentimes, the soundtrack that I listen to is lo-fi on YouTube because its soothing tempo has a calming effect. At times I listen to the sound of the rain/ocean on YouTube which helps me to focus as well. Sometimes I listen to Celine Dion’s French songs, for when I can’t understand the lyrics, I am able to focus pretty well, too. Although this method is different from Jon Acuff’s approach, it works very well. 

  • Various shades of gray:

I have never, ever had a successful relationship,” Zavier said to me, “Every romantic relationship I had either didn’t involve chemistry or didn’t have emotional connection.”

Well, that sounds like black-and-white thinking,” I said to Zavier, “A romantic relationship without chemistry or emotional connection isn’t necessarily a meaningless relationship. Remember that there are different shades of gray. So long as a romantic relationship has brought value to you, it’s a good relationship.”

Yes, black-and-white thinking is very common, but in reality, there are so many shades of gray – when we bravely embrace various shades of gray, we let black-and-white thinking go – black-and-white thinking is a major part of maddening overthinking.

international dating
  • The importance of your mindset:

Tony Robbins famously said, “If you do not work on your mindset, sooner or later your mind will surely play tricks on you!” Indeed, most individuals only begin to work on their mindset and read self-help books after big problems already happened, e.g., after being fired by their employer / after a difficult breakup or divorce / after their relationship with their family is destroyed, and so forth.

In Tony Robbins’s career, his goal is to make personal development something that everybody does every single day – in future, if somebody isn’t doing personal development, it will probably look like this individual doesn’t have a cell phone. Tony Robbins wants personal development to be an organic part of everyone’s daily life. 

I don’t like those who talk about motivation and mindset, and I definitely do not want to become a motivational speaker,” says Gary Vaynerchuk, “However, your mindset still matters as it’s fundamental to everything!”

If overthinking stops you from getting started in international dating, you may begin from working on your mindset. Usually, overthinking is caused by anxiety and stress. In addition, anxiety and stress come from fear. What causes fear? It turns out that fear comes from an individual’s inability to fully accept negative experiences in life.

But do you know how to fully accept negative experiences in life?

Tosha Silver once said, “Surrender should always be the first step no matter what you want.” That is to say, when you try to control everything, you develop fear that causes anxiety and stress (which is the root cause of annoying overthinking). Thus, surrender is highly recommended – do not try to control everything in life. Just allow good things to unfold and happen by eliminating overthinking and letting the universe show you the way.

“You can stop overthinking and then start international dating if you stop trying to control everything.”

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