How to have solid confidence & attractiveness on an online dating site

June 1, 2021 at 2.31pm by in Dating advice
online dating

When you are chatting with a woman on an online dating website, the way you communicate is key. 😉

  • Don’t pay her a compliment too early.

Some men tend to pay women compliments too quickly – They say “You are so beautiful” the moment they see a woman’s photo. That’s not the best way to approach online dating.

Joseph is a guy who has tried internet dating. He often says “You’re so beautiful. I’m nerdy” at the beginning of a conversation with a woman. Then the conversation falls off and Joseph wonders what is wrong.

Actually, Joseph has made a mistake – after seeing one photo, he is already saying “You are so beautiful”, but he hasn’t started a video call with that woman yet – how does he know she looks like her photo 100%?!

Also, whether he is nerdy or not is subjective. He shouldn’t say “I’m nerdy” at the beginning of a conversation because this sentence doesn’t help him build attraction.

Dating experts argue that at the beginning, you need to let a woman guess how much you are attracted to her so that she will work hard in order to impress you! If you tell her “You are so beautiful” too early, you are giving your power away.

  • How to make a woman want to impress you:

Let’s say you are on a date with a woman that you met via an online dating site. You have noticed that her fingernails are beautifully painted. You should ask her, “Are these real?” while referring to her nails (your attitude has to be kind, but your question is not putting her on a pedestal). Then she will want to impress you because she wants to know if she is beautiful enough for you.

In other words, you shouldn’t be too complimentary too fast. She needs to prove herself to you in the first place. You have to find out how much you like her / whether she is the right person for you / whether she meets your standards.

Another example is when you are on a date with a woman, you can ask her, “Can you cook?” (Your attitude is kind, but your question is making her want to prove herself to you). Then she will want to impress you. If she tells you something great about herself, you will say “I’m impressed”. In this way, you are training her properly so she will keep impressing you. 😊

  • A word about your past:

Some men even tell potential candidates that in the past, other women were not attracted to them. Here is an example:

When Joseph is chatting with a lady on an online dating website, he says, “In the past, women were not attracted to me.” 

This is a mistake because you need to have social proof (pre-selection), i.e., other women already want you, so new women will also want you.

If women were definitely not attracted to you in the past, you don’t have to tell potential candidates anything in this regard. You can let potential candidates think that you are an attractive guy and other women are interested in you as long as you demonstrate attractive behavior

Sometimes Joseph even says this to women that he is chatting with, “Yesterday a woman that I used to date came here to see me….” Another mistake.

New candidates do not want to know that you still keep in touch with your ex-wives or ex-girlfriends. You only need to mention your ex if it’s absolutely necessary, e.g., when you are in a serious relationship with a new girlfriend & your child from your previous marriages has to spend every Saturday with you (your ex-wife has to pick up your child at 5pm on Saturday afternoon), in this case you should tell your new girlfriend about this by saying, “Alex’s mom is picking him up this afternoon at 5pm.” (Don’t say “My ex-wife is picking him up this afternoon at 5pm.” Note that if you say “my ex-wife”, “my” is a possessive pronoun, so in a way, you are still psychologically married to your ex-wife. In contrast, if you say “Alex’s mom”, there isn’t a possessive pronoun anymore, so your new girlfriend would feel better.)

“The way you communicate with women on an online dating website is very important.”

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