How to make life easy and international dating rewarding

Who would you like to be? Write down your identity statement and be that person now. Once your identity is established, it’s not something that is hard because it doesn’t really require motivation. It just is. It involves BE-ing. ?

• The importance of your identity:

Your identity is absolutely fundamental to everything because it drives your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Oftentimes, a person’s identity is unexplored or dismissed because people usually prefer the quick fix: run 5km, cut out dairy, practice piano for 30 minutes a day, and so on.

If you can get your identity sorted, everything else falls into place.

This is the “BE – DO – HAVE” mentality: Step 1: Be (Create a way of BE-ing that aligns with your values). Step 2: Do (This new way of BE-ing will propel into action). Step 3: Have (The results of your actions will then bring you to the life you want).

Your beliefs and values are underpinned by your identity. Before finding out your why, find out who you are.

Here is the human onion analogy: What’s on the outside is the reflection of what’s going on inside. So, in order to change the outside, you need to change the inside first. We should look at who we need to BE in the first place.

Who do you need to be? Please identify three identity characteristics you will need while working out the answer to this question: “Who do I need to be, to do what I need to do, to get what I want to have?” AND you act / behave / think like that identity… you will get what you want in this way!

Once you have written down your identity statement, you will need to set a few rules. For example, you will go to bed before 11pm, you will eat vegetables every day, etc. Try your best to obey your rules.

Your new identity leads to new rules. New rules lead to commitment. Commitment leads to results. Results lead to motivation. In other words, commitment actually comes before motivation.

• How to achieve your goals:

In order to actually achieve a goal, you have to develop rituals and stick to them. Ordinary things done consistently lead to extraordinary results. The key word is “consistently”.

Please remember that a realistic goal should be something that can be achieved within 3 – 6 months. If your goal is about achieving something within 5 years, it doesn’t change what you will do next Thursday. But if your goal is about achieving something within 6 months, it changes what you will do next Thursday because it is more compelling and creates a sense of urgency!

In terms of goal-setting, most people use the analytical approach only – they only use their left brain which makes everything very logical. But human beings are emotional creatures – we are biologically programmed to be emotional – when something stimulates emotions, it has much more power.

• How to be a true leader in your relationship (international dating):

When growth and confidence are combined, you have momentum. When growth and adventure are combined, you have transformation. When confidence and adventure are combined, you have excitement. When momentum, transformation and excitement are combined, you have leadership.

People who have a fixed mindset tend to believe that they can’t keep improving themselves, whilst those who have a growth mindset firmly and strongly believe that they can improve themselves every single day.

“A comfortable lifestyle leads to stagnation, whereas adversity facilitates the development of a growth mindset. What’s more, adversity makes people find creative ways to succeed in spite of the obstacles, because of the obstacles.”