How to quickly improve your international dating skills

Is dating a skill that can be learned? Yes, it is! Now I’d like to give you several tips that will transform your dating skills quickly. ?

• Dating isn’t a performance.

When I was younger, I had a short-term sales job in a furniture shop where my manager didn’t like me very much because I didn’t know anything about furniture – I didn’t know what to say to the customer due to lack of product knowledge. My manager was so mad at me, so he said, “You should fake confidence. Selling something is a performance! This is a game!”

I don’t have any comments on my manager’s opinion, and I still think he is a great person who has written one of the best sales books I’ve ever read. Now in terms of dating and relationships, you shouldn’t perform.

By that I mean you are not supposed to show off something in order to impress a woman on purpose, because deliberately showing off what you assume she might be into will make you look inauthentic. A few years ago, I met a guy who used a pickup line to approach me in the street. Since I am an expert in the dating industry, I know he used a pickup line to start a conversation with me. Consequently, I was put off by that – all that really told me was, “I have to rely on this pickup line to impress you because I’m a boring guy.” Interestingly, most women can tell when a man is performing or not as women’s intuition is strong and accurate. In reality, most women just want a guy who is normal and genuinely connects with them. Therefore, my advice is to forget about those chat-up lines and simply focus on providing authentic information about yourself that creates familiarity, e.g., “Frankly, I didn’t plan to come to this party this evening because I have been working on a big project at work these days….” When you talk like a normal person, you are relaxed and genuine!

• A conversation shouldn’t be all about her.

If a woman only talks about herself on the first date, that’s not normal because usually, a lady wouldn’t want to talk about herself that much until she trusts you. As a matter of fact, before an Eastern European lady opens up, she has to know some key details from you. That means on the first date, you should start the conversation and then you will carry the conversation for several minutes until the lady feels more comfortable. Then you can invite the lady to join the conversation, e.g., “I’m not sure whether you’ve had this experience, but I always wanted to learn another language….”

When a woman feels more at ease, she will be comfortable chatting to you. ?

• Ask fewer questions; use more statements.

Here is a typical conversation on a very boring first date –

MAN: “What do you do?”

WOMAN: “I’m a customer service representative.”

MAN: “Where do you work?”

WOMAN: “I work for an international company called XYZ.”

MAN: “How long have you been doing that for?”

WOMAN: (feeling a bit creeped out while trying to come up with an answer which does not reveal further details.)

That is also known as conversational death.

In contrast, statements make a woman feel like she is able to trust you more because when you talk about yourself, you give her new routes for the interaction to flow down. Please have a look at this example –

MAN: “I guess you must have a highly creative job because you look so relaxed and artistic. I mean I work in engineering, so I’m totally analytical.”

WOMAN: “Well, in fact, I’m a customer service representative.”

MAN: “Oh. That sounds interesting. I think being a customer service representative requires very strong people skills.”

WOMAN: “It depends. My job is to handle enquiries on the phone, so I don’t meet people every day.”

In this example, the guy listens to the lady’s conversational cues and then adds relevant information he has. As a result, they connect with each other naturally. ?

“The most important international dating skill is to have interesting conversations that help you connect with a lady.”