How to be a real leader in an international relationship

April 4, 2022 at 7.07am by in Dating advice
international relationship

Most dating books tell men that every man has to be an “alpha male” all the time. Otherwise, ladies wouldn’t find them attractive. However, as I see it, you don’t really need to be a clichéd alpha male in order to be successful with women and find a sustainable international relationship. Honestly, having alpha male traits 24/7 only makes sense in the animal kingdom outside of our human society, because in modern-day society, a lady does not need a strong and big guy to save her simply because a lion may eat her. So, please don’t assume that super macho and dominant guys have it easy when it comes to attracting ladies. You may think it’s not worth getting out of bed in the morning when alpha guys are out there to compete with you 24/7. But in truth, there is no instant solution to immediate success. Do not envy those so-called alpha guys. Please take the best of those alpha male traits and mix them with your character. Then you will find dating more enjoyable.

  • There’s a major difference between liking somebody and respecting somebody.

In dating and relationships, knowing the big difference between liking someone and respecting someone is so key. A lady may like you, but it doesn’t always mean she also respects you. Remember: You will choose respect at all timesNever settle for somebody who doesn’t really respect you, no matter how much you are attracted to her. Never invest in someone based on how much you like that person; invest in someone based on how much she actually invests in you. What you’ll do from now on is invest & test – you invest in a lady first and see if she reciprocates, and then you’ll quickly know whether you should keep investing in this lady.

international relationship
  • Develop unfazeable stillness in your daily life.

Unfazeable stillness refers to the ability to manage your inner voice in challenging situations. Let me show you some typical examples:

  1. You are stuck in a traffic congestion. Now it’s the perfect opportunity to meditate or listen to a podcast. For instance, Jack works in a big city where a traffic jam happens frequently, so he listens to an audiobook every time when he gets stuck in a traffic jam. He says his car is his automobile university!
  2. Your employer has made you redundant. Now it’s the ideal time to pursue your dream job or turn your side hustle into a real business. For example, Jon was made redundant during the pandemic as the educational organization was shut down by the head office. He was a teacher in that organization for 15 years and had a voice injury. Therefore, now he has decided not to be a teacher anymore. After he left that organization, he focused on his side hustle and turned it into a profitable business. What he realized was although his business was making money, he needs a structured life every day & only being an employee can help him have a structured life, so he became a call center agent while working on his business at night and on weekends. Because the call center requires him to talk all day on the phone and his vocal cords couldn’t do that, he left the call center 10 weeks later. But because the nature of his job at the call center is customer service, he found a retail job in an upmarket department store fairly quickly (the retail job’s focus is customer service). Right now, Jon is doing what he loves: He likes doing retail because working in the department store is just like going to the gym every day – this physical exercise helps him to sleep well at night. At the same time, Jon’s business still works pretty well as he feels more energized and has more energy to work on his business at night and on his day off. Indeed, Jon is someone who is able to turn an obstacle into a great opportunity.
  3. You are dumped by your ex. At last, you have more time to focus on yourself, your interests and hobbies. Take Don as an example. He was dumped by his ex-girlfriend. But he isn’t devastated because now he has much more time for himself & he is able to focus on what he enjoys doing, e.g., going to concerts, sleeping in, and so on.

In other words, you can’t choose every single situation you find yourself in. Nevertheless, you can choose your perception of each situation and your response to every situation. If you are unable to control something, please accept it and just work with it.

“In general, there are 3 types of communication styles: A) the submissive style; B) the assertive style; C) the aggressive style. The right style is the assertive style as this style helps you to communicate with your lady cleanly & clearly. You need to have your own opinion and also have the courage to express your opinion because having an opinion is an attractive quality, so long as it’s not overdone. That’s how you become a leader in an international relationship!”

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