Insights into Online Dating: You’ll be happily married if you can be happily single

August 27, 2020 at 9.10am by in Online Dating
bride from Ukraine

Single. Dating. Married.

Oftentimes, people like saying that one state is better than another state. However, after working in the online dating industry for a long time, I have realized that it’s absolutely possible to feel very satisfied or completely terrible in any state between being alone and a marriage.

Yet this is not what most people think, as the mainstream culture says, “You will definitely be happy when you are married to the right person.” Or “You should have a relationship. Otherwise, life is meaningless.”

Why single women find it harder to stay single:

Being a single woman is actually quite challenging as ladies often face more pressure to prove their value by having someone stable before they turn 30 years old.

The mainstream society says no matter what you are doing now, you are supposed to be in a relationship in order for your life to make sense.

Truthfully, being married can be fantastic. Yet being single is great as well. Many people take this for granted though.

Having said that, in order to be happily single, you have to avoid bitterness, dating burnout or feeling like you are always waiting for someone to make your life complete.

Forcing dating is not a great idea.

Some singles tend to think, “I have to find a person to be with as soon as humanly possible.”

Nevertheless, it’s perfectly normal to acknowledge the fact that you are happily single and do not plan to join the dating scene for quite a while.

If you tell your family and friends that you are happily single and do not want to join the dating scene for a while, chances are some people in your life will assume you are hiding from romantic relationships, or you should totally grow up and be a real man, or hire a therapist for you so that you won’t bury yourself in a fear of romance.

Don’t get me wrong. I still believe that having a relationship is a wonderful goal. I just would like to point out that if you know how to enjoy being single, you will not care about finding a long-term relationship unless it can add good value to your amazing life.

In other words, just because you are single, it doesn’t mean you have to date.

All of a sudden, everything becomes a bit easier, right? Now I give you the permission to eliminate all dating anxiety and explore all your interests or hobbies without any guilt. As a single person, you have a lot of free time for yourself – that’s extremely valuable! Your time is yours. Your life is yours! You can actually watch TV shows, read magazines and go to Australia just because you want to see the best beach in the world – other people should envy you!

Isn’t that a relief?

Trust your gut feeling.

All right. What would happen if you are a single guy and also on an international dating site?

In that case, you must be switched-on because a lot of single individuals don’t know how to use their time and energy in the right ways: they pursue low-quality leads, date people who never invest in them or respect them, spend weeks thinking about what that text message means and chase romance with people who do not even like them in the first place.

Therefore, if you are a single man and looking for love & you would like to actually love the journey (having self-respect, self-esteem, self-love & not get burnt out), you have to trust your gut feeling more than anything else.

Now if you are wondering whether you should start a long-term relationship with a Ukrainian woman officially, I’d like you to answer these questions first:

  1. Is the chemistry real?
  2. Do I truly like her and respect her lifestyle?
  3. Does she treat me so well that I feel wanted all the time?
  4. Are her blueprint and my blueprint compatible?

Your gut feeling gives you the answers very accurately because your intuition is always right.

Now you are supposed to follow your gut feeling rather than your analytical thinking. Please let me explain.

In a romantic relationship, your heart knows where to go. Sadly, your brain keeps telling you what you would like to be true. That’s exactly why you must listen to your intuition rather than your analytical brain when it comes to dating and relationships.

You have to leave the wrong candidate quickly so that you can have enough space for the right candidate when she rocks up.

International dating advice: be open about which candidate you meet but choosy about which candidate you actually date.

In reality, most singles are open about who they actually date but picky about who they meet. That is to say, most single people join online dating sites, go to singles events and attend parties & in the back of their head, they are constantly saying “no”, i.e. every excuse for why they shouldn’t meet that individual.

Typical excuses are:

  1. She has short hair.
  2. She reads fashion magazines rather than serious books.
  3. Her attitude is slightly arrogant.

And so forth.

I know you have high standards. That’s very good. Nonetheless, the “no” attitude is literally hindering your progress in your dating life.

With the “no” attitude, you won’t meet anyone suitable because you don’t even have options in the first place.

As a matter of fact, you meet nobody, so the next time you meet one woman you are remotely attracted to, you invest in her tremendously. But when you choose one option out of one option in your dating world, chances are it’s a pretty lousy choice.

So, you have to use the opposite strategy: Be open about who you speak to, but be very picky about who you actually invest your feelings in. Then you will have abundance and can make the right decision wisely.

Your single life is a great opportunity to reinvent yourself at any time.

Frankly, if you don’t want to date, you should stay single. There is nothing wrong with that. When you are single, you can enjoy your life without considering another person’s desires and needs.

That means as a single man, you should give yourself the permission to be adventurous, start a new business, explore a new hobby, travel abroad or learn a new skill. You spend your money on yourself. You spend your time looking after yourself!

Honestly, perhaps being single is working very well for you right now and is indeed wonderful. That being said, life has different phases. It’s absolutely okay to change your state. No matter you decide to be single or married, please make sure you do it for the right reasons, okay?

“The best international dating advice is understanding that the beliefs you followed yesterday might turn out to be totally wrong for who you’ll become tomorrow.”

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