International dating advice: How to transform rejection into core confidence

December 29, 2019 at 9.55am by in International Dating
international dating

Most men have a tendency to become nervous when they are talking to someone that they are attracted to and desperately want it to go their way. Now I’d like to share some key ideas that will eliminate your fear of rejection permanently.

Don’t give one woman too much credit.

When you receive a cold reception from someone you want to attract, that usually means in that moment, that particular woman isn’t interested. That’s all. Nothing more. Therefore, you mustn’t make it more. A lot of men use one individual’s opinion to decide how attractive they are as if anybody’s opinion can matter that much in the first place. When a guy has allowed that one woman’s opinion to deter him from trying with someone else, he has ruined the project. In contrast, when he has carried on un-phased, he could meet someone else who thinks he is great and reminds him that the other individual’s opinion wasn’t the opinion of the rest of the world.

No one woman can be the expert on how attractive you are. It may well be that when you initiate a conversation with her, she isn’t interested in you. But who cares? She doesn’t have the final judgement. Period.

You may be attracted to a woman on an international dating website, yet please have more self-respect and stop putting her on a pedestal.

It’s unbelievable how highly men begin to value a woman the moment they decide they are attracted to her. If you are that nervous, please note that she is just another human being – flesh and bones. You have to stop being intimidated, particularly by looks. The biggest insecurity of good-looking women is that it’s all they have and that one day good looks will fade (and it certainly will). Therefore, just stop overrating a woman based on something too superficial.

Not that you should ever put someone on a pedestal, but if you are going to elevate a woman, at least let it be because she has a lot of amazing qualities that make her a rare person. Value a woman based on who she is and what she creates, not just what she looks like.

Please remember your own worth. Most people always over-value others and under-value themselves. That attractive woman on the international dating site isn’t higher value than you; thus, please stop treating her that way.

It’s not just about how wonderful she is, but how she treats you.

It’s important to value a woman on more than her looks. But you might say that there is a lady you are intimidated by because you are actually crazy about who she is on a much deeper level. Yet even that is not enough.

The ideal woman isn’t just someone who is a great individual with many wonderful attributes; it should be somebody who uses those qualities to add value to your life. For instance, it doesn’t matter to me how wonderful someone is if they are rude to me. The individual that I value is somebody who brings positive energy into my world, not somebody who makes me feel terrible when I’m with them.

Many men spend too much time worrying about women that they think are objectively amazing, even though those women treat them in an unfriendly way. You must have more self-respect than that. A lady’s value goes up when she treats you with respect and goes down when she treats you without respect. Hence, instead of considering it to be a rejection when she doesn’t respond to you the way you want her to, see it as a reason not to want her in the first place. Having said that, this doesn’t mean you must block her on the international dating website; it only means accepting that she is not the right woman for you, so there was no real loss to you.

Don’t be needy; focus on thinking in fun moments right now.

A barrier to finding the right woman is going around treating everyone as if she is the right woman. Simply because you are attracted to a lady doesn’t mean she is wife material for you – there are many other aspects to consider.

This is how I see it when I look at someone’s dating profile on an international dating website: I’m only curious at this stage. That’s it for the time being. I will contact that person to find out more about them and see whether they have more qualities that I like.

As I change my intent from “contact that person and make them like me as much as I like them” to “I will start a conversation and create a fun moment to see who this individual really is,” I don’t feel nervous. It doesn’t necessarily mean I’m 100% relaxed as talking to an attractive individual might make me slightly anxious (which is normal and understandable). Nevertheless, it definitely means I’m not stressed out due to the big motive of making this individual marriage material immediately.

Just decide to be a spontaneous person that creates fun moments with others. In other words, you are not sure where this will lead; nonetheless, you are open to being surprised by someone’s greatness once you get to know this woman. If she turns out to be a great person that you would like to be with, it’s a wonderful bonus. Otherwise, you don’t have anything to lose anyway. Enjoy those little fun moments with others like they are worth it no matter it becomes more or not.

Remember: you’re talking to a woman on an international dating site in order to find out whether you like her, not the other way around.

Don’t be a drama queen.

You can’t imagine failing a job interview and then saying, “You know what, that’s it. I will never look for a job in future.” You can’t imagine eating a terrible meal and saying, “That’s it. I will never eat again.”

Therefore, stop doing it with rejection when it comes to your love life. Simply because a woman on an international dating website rejects you doesn’t mean every woman will do the same thing. There are many possibilities: perhaps she is the wrong woman for you; maybe she is in a bad mood right now; chances are you two are not compatible in many ways. It could be that there are many things she needs to work on in order to be with someone like you, or things that you should work on to be with a woman like her. In conclusion, it’s not final. Women on international dating sites are allowed to give you rejections; that doesn’t mean the rest of the world will reject you as well.

Frankly, rejection isn’t a bad thing. As I see it, rejection is absolutely necessary for growth and for resilience. I’m grateful because I’ve had rejections early in life. Some of those rejections remind me not to be narcissistic in thinking that I should be desired by everyone. Other rejections remind me that there were areas I must work on. Others made me glad that I dodged a brutal bullet – if that person actually accepted me, I would probably marry the wrong person.

“Finding a woman to spend your life with is something that requires you to reject and be rejected by lots of women – that’s just how dating should be; it’s a necessary part of the process.”

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