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International dating muse: The importance of a genuine connection in a relationship

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According to dating experts in the international dating industry, there are three components in a sustainable, healthy relationship: 1) emotional connection; 2) intimacy; 3) a shared vision. It seems that the most paramount component is emotional connection. Now we are going to discuss how to create and maintain a genuine connection so a romantic relationship will flourish.

The foundation of a genuine connection is shared experiences.

If a romantic relationship only has mutual benefits and intimacy, that is an arrangement rather than a long-term relationship, as those two components focus on the logical brain and physical needs. (Note that a shared vision means mutual benefits most of the time.) But in order to have true love, the emotional brain has to be switched on in the first place. Thus, a genuine connection is important in a long-term, serious relationship. Research shows that shared experiences are the basis for a genuine connection, for two people can actually learn more about each other and understand each other through shared experiences.

A recent study in the United States and Canada shows that shared experiences which involve emotional investment create emotional connections fast. For example, if you and your Ukrainian girlfriend see a horror movie in the cinema, she will probably need your ‘protection’ as the movie is terrifying. This strengthens the genuine connection further. Another typical example is when you and your Ukrainian lady climb a mountain together, chances are she will need you to hold her hand occasionally. Well, Jack meets Rose on Titanic by holding her hand when she is about to jump into the ocean. Something like that will certainly make a man feel like an alpha guy and make a woman feel like a feminine, elegant lady.

When you go out with your Ukrainian girlfriend and create shared experiences together, you can take some photos and have these pictures framed. In the future, whenever you two see these pictures at home, you will savor the memorable memories forever – photos are emotional buttons! This is a great way to make the genuine connection sweeter, better and stronger.

The romantic dynamics of values:

To make a romantic relationship with a Ukrainian lady work in the long term, you have to have compatible values.

Here is an example of compatible values:

John values education, so he is an avid reader. Yet his wife Jennifer values entertainment, so she is always watching movies on her laptop. In this scenario, though these two individuals have very different value systems, their values are quite compatible as when John is reading a book, Jennifer is watching movies on Netflix. Their marriage is quite sustainable!

An example of incompatible values:

David values family and wants to have children, yet his wife Di values freedom and does not want to have children at all. This conflict might be a deal-breaker as David’s blueprint and Di’s vision cannot even co-exist. In the long run, their marriage will have big issues.

If you just started the international dating journey….

I know many men reading this blog post have just got started in the international dating journey, so I’d like to talk about how to make a Ukrainian woman like you.

Firstly, exposure oftentimes leads to attraction. That means when you spend lots of time with a lady, she will feel the attraction gradually as long as the interaction is above average. Let me put it this way: if a man with good grooming is active in his social circle which is full of individuals who aren’t even his competitors (other individuals in his social circle are men over 70 years old, women, etc.), eligible ladies in his social circle will naturally feel attracted to this eligible guy. Hence, if you would like to make a woman like you, the first step is to spend more time with her and don’t involve any competition.

Secondly, you will need to listen more and talk less. When you are talking to a lady you are attracted to, please don’t talk too fast. You have to relax and slow down because the occasional silence will make the lady want to invest more in this conversation. The more she talks, the more she will want to impress you. Basically, you can turn the tables in this way. Most mainstream magazines such as GQ just tell you to talk more in order to please ladies, yet that is not what women actually respond to, unfortunately. Since mainstream magazines are about journalism rather than dating advice, you probably shouldn’t keep reading mainstream magazines in the future.

How to create and maintain a romantic relationship which will thrive:

These days, the high divorce rate in western countries has made a lot of western men look for Eastern European brides, which is totally understandable. But do you know how to create and maintain a sustainable relationship?

First of all, the basis for a good relationship is a friendship. By that I mean every romantic relationship will go through many challenges in the long run; therefore, the basis for a relationship is very, very important. Note that many relationships are stressful because those individuals are not even friends. For example, Derek and Daniella just talk about logistics, which means this couple do not have anything meaningful to talk about at all. That is a typical loveless marriage as they are not even friends! They are more like roommates. Hence, you should begin from a friendship. You may achieve this by creating a genuine connection with your girlfriend.

Second, a sustainable relationship should involve some mutual benefits. I know this isn’t the most pleasant thing to say as most individuals would feel a bit uncomfortable when they talk about mutual benefits in a relationship. Yet the keyword is actually ‘mutual’ rather than ‘benefits’. In other words, when you and your wife can both benefit from this marriage, it’s going to be a very sustainable marriage, for in everyone’s subconscious mind, they are thinking, “What’s in it for me?” For instance, Richard and his wife Rachael build a business together, so this business is their mutual benefit. As a result, they are much less likely to be divorced. Hopefully this makes sense.

Next, if you’d like your Ukrainian girlfriend to open up to you, you should open up to her first so that she feels emotionally and psychologically closer to you. That’s when she wants to reciprocate (Law of Reciprocity). Please do not underestimate the power of vulnerability – when you talk about how you truly feel, she will like your honesty and appreciate the trust. So, she will want to open up to you. If she opens up to you, please don’t judge her. When she says “I like watching Gossip Girl” and you laugh at her, she will not open up to you again. Therefore, you need to indicate absence of judgement in the communication. You can say this to her, “I truly appreciate people who are plain-spoken and honest. I don’t like those who cannot even have real conversations in life.” Remember to say this to your Ukrainian lady in a very sincere way.

“Being vulnerable is very important in a genuine relationship – it means you trust each other.”

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