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International dating: The importance of communication

On a dating website, it’s very important to have face-to-face communication. The good news is SimplyDating.com has a wonderful feature that you can use in this regard.

A custom-built video/audio chat system integrated into our site, which is equally compatible with any device.

On SimplyDating.com, you can use this feature to chat with other members online. No need to download an App to access it. You get rewards for long video chats (30 minutes and 60 minutes). This feature also includes the ability to toggle into and out of video chats during a text chat, without ending the text chat to start the video/audio streaming.

There is an inbuilt translator into the text chats. You can simply type in English and the lady receives in Russian (and English). She replies in Russian and you receive in English – automatically. 😊

How to communicate with Russian women more effectively:

Conversational skills in dating are paramount.

When you approach someone, say “How have you been?” rather than “How are you?”  That’s because “How have you been?” makes him/her feel that you two have known each other for a very long time before this conversation.  Therefore, it’s a very effective way to build rapport naturally with a stranger.

During a conversation with someone you are interested in, pause and say, “So, I’m curious.”  While you are having a fun conversation with someone you like, don’t be afraid of awkward silence because silence is so key in attraction – silence actually builds sexual tension.  Hence, you can pause and then say, “So, I’m curious.” And you pause again.  I’m sure the person you are talking to is paying attention to you at this moment.  Then you continue saying, “if you can wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you wake up?”

Avoid small talk and ask him/her questions at an emotional level.  Instead of asking “What do you do?”, you should ask “You look so artistic, are you a musician?”  Instead of asking “Do you like your job?”, you should ask “Why do you want to be a lawyer?”  A hundred people have done small talk with him/her, so you want to stand out from the crowd.

High-level communication with a Russian lady:

Maybe you have been dating for a while and now you are wondering whether the Russian woman that you’ve been seeing recently is the one or not, right?  This article will eliminate your doubt because I will show you how to tell if he/she is the one.

You can do a values test together.  Next time you see each other, you can suggest that you two do a values test together.  There are many tests like this online, so you may want to do some homework and find the right test.  The reason you need to do a values test together is because you should clarify your own values and know his/her values in order to see whether you two have the same values (or similar values).  At least, your values and her values should be compatible.  In the long term, you can only be with someone whose values that you can accept.  For instance, if you value security whereas your partner values adventure, that relationship is not sustainable.

Another high-level communication strategy is to talk less and listen more. As you are talking to a woman that you like, don’t talk fast. You must slow down. This will relax you and the occasional silence will make her want to talk more, so she will invest in the conversation. The more she invests in the conversation, the more she will feel that she needs to try hard to get you. Now you are turning the tables. Mainstream magazines tell you that you should talk more to please women, but that’s not what women want in a man. If you’d like to learn how to attract women, you may want to stop reading mainstream magazines altogether, because most mainstream magazines are written by journalists who don’t have a good understanding of female psychology and human dynamics (journalism isn’t dating advice).

Avoid the ‘nice-guy syndrome’ when you date a Russian woman.

There is a difference between “nice” and “kind”. I always respect and admire a kind person, but I doubt whether a nice person is being nice for the right reasons. Oftentimes, a nice individual is nice simply because he/she wants to make himself/herself look good, i.e. selfish reasons.

What is “the nice guy syndrome”? This term refers to a nice guy who is very afraid of offending women, so he wants to be nice, which kills chemistry and attraction. For instance, a nice guy calls a woman three times a day to give her attention; he sends her five emails a day to tell her how much he likes her; he always responds to her text messages immediately and answers all her questions in every message. The problem is: There is no challenge in it. Without perceived challenge, a guy’s perceived value becomes lower.

Women say they want nice men, but that’s not what women actually respond to. Women can’t be turned on by nice guys, because women actually need to chase high-value men – women just don’t want to admit this. Logically, a woman says, “I want to date a nice guy”, but realistically, she actually wants to date a high-value guy who has standards and knows what he wants. However, it doesn’t mean women want to date jerks. Being a high-value guy is different from being a jerk. A high-value guy presents perceived challenge which turns women on, whereas a jerk doesn’t respect women even though he likes women.

Is there any hope for nice guys? The good news is nice guys still have hope, but it’s not about playing hard-to-get. Playing hard-to-get means you pretend to be a high-value man instead of actually being a high-value man. Therefore, the solution is: a nice guy must have some standards for women to meet so that he will become a high-value guy. Also, he can establish some boundaries so women know how to interact with him. Remember: In dating and relationships, women will treat you in the exact way that you allow them to treat you.

Being successful in your love life is not easy. Hopefully this article has clarified the position of nice guys in the modern-day world where dating is hard and relationships can be stressful. Every man would be well-advised to become a high-value guy that women want rather than a nice guy that women want to friend-zone.

A final tip: you can introduce hooks when you are talking. 

A good example (conversation basketball) –

Him: So glad to see you today. How have you been?

Her: I’ve been great. Thank you. This morning I had the most life-changing coffee.  I guess I have finally figured out how to make good coffee.  How are you today?

Him: Hmmm.  I also had a good coffee this morning, but I’m wondering whose coffee is better, mine or yours?

Her:  Maybe we should find it out some day.

“Now you can see that playing conversation basketball isn’t playing games.  Actually, it’s about adding extra information to what you want to say so that your date has something interesting to talk about, thereby making your conversation more meaningful and enjoyable.”

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