Internet dating advice: When true love happens organically….

Love is very, very different from lust. Actually, lust is oftentimes triggered by oxytocin, whilst love is grown through a combination of attraction, connection and mutual benefits.

What is actually happening when you are in love?

When you are in love, your brain and body naturally release happy hormones like dopamine. These chemicals keep you very motivated and excited. Everything seems to be better at this stage of a romantic relationship (honeymoon stage), for your internal feelings and emotions are literally projected onto the external environment.

But unfortunately, the honeymoon stage will not last for a very long time because your body knows how to protect you: If your body and brain keep releasing a lot of dopamine for too long, it’s bad for your health (excitement and fear activate the same area of the human brain). If fear is not a good emotion, long-term excitement is obviously not a good emotion either.

Hence, the honeymoon stage of a romantic relationship could only last for 1.5 years most of the time. Then the passion is not intense, which is normal.

Now this is when true love starts. Well, how can you tell whether it’s love or lust? In my opinion, the best way to assess the nature of a romantic relationship is to see what actually happens after the sparky passion is already gone. I know this isn’t the most pleasant thing to say as it’s much easier to say “Since we are in love, we must be totally crazy about each other for the rest of our lives.” But that is so much easier said than done!

Yet fortunately, when the sparky passion is not there any longer and you still care about each other genuinely, you know true love is growing organically.

Basically, true love is not based on some short-term, temporary chemistry or oxytocin. It’s actually based on long-term, stable investment in a real relationship with a Ukrainian woman.

How to tell if a relationship can last for a long, long time:

There are three factors that you need to remember:

A) Do you and your Ukrainian girlfriend have a solid and strong friendship?

This sounds slightly weird, yet a solid and strong friendship is the real foundation of a permanent romantic relationship. If the friendship is weak, the romantic relationship is probably just lust rather than love.

B) Do you and your Ukrainian lady have compatible flaws?

Let’s say one person loves drinking and the other person loves weekly shopping sprees but they cannot even stand each other due to these differences. Then they do not have compatible flaws.

Nevertheless, if one person is a workaholic and the other person is a relatively distant individual in a romantic relationship, they actually have compatible flaws.

Please note that only when you and your Ukrainian lady’s flaws are compatible can this romantic relationship last for a long, long time.

C) Do you and your Ukrainian lady have compatible conflict management approaches?

Clearly, conflict is unavoidable in all relationships. And how you handle conflict directly determines if your romantic relationship could last for a long, long time or not.

Get rid of your limiting beliefs and allow true love to happen organically.

The most common limiting belief that many men have is “There are not any quality ladies out there.”

But the truth is: If you’ve just dated a few women and then your conclusion is there are not any quality women out there, you obviously got this conclusion too quickly.

Let me ask you this question: How many relationships have you had? 200? Probably not that many, right? Thus, the quality of the women that you have dated cannot represent the quality of women out there, okay?

As I see it, in order to find a high-quality Ukrainian wife, quantity matters initially. I know you want to meet a great woman and get married, yet before finding that perfect candidate, you have to meet lots of potential candidates first. Let me show you an analogy: When you want to buy an outfit, you go to different stores and try on different items. Finally, you find the ideal outfit after spending an entire morning in the department store or shopping mall. Oftentimes, you probably would not find the ideal outfit in the first store, yet you would not say “There are not any quality outfits on the market.”

The perfect conversational topics on a first date:

The first date is always exciting. Now I’d like to give you a list of conversational topics to talk about on the first date with a Ukrainian lady. You will literally become a much better and more delightful conversationalist soon.

Firstly, ask her about her day. When you meet her, you can ask her, “How was your day today?” Now listen to her answer carefully. If she tells you something positive like “It’s been really good”, you know she is possibly an easy-going person. In contrast, if she begins to complain, “My work totally stressed me out” or “My boss is so annoying”, then you know she is possible a difficult person.

Secondly, talk about work or study. When you talk about work or study on the first date, you may find out this Ukrainian woman’s blueprint. This is just like asking about her long-term plan. Remember: it’s important to figure out if her blueprint matches your blueprint or not early.

Thirdly, discuss hobbies and interests. As a no-brainer, hobbies and interests are great conversation starters. Having said that, please do not take what she says at face value. At times people tell you they like reading books, yet they actually like watching TV – they simply do not want to tell you the truth. But the good news is: Ukrainian women are honest people, so you can find out her true hobbies and interests easily.

Next, movies, shows and music are great topics as well. I know this sounds slightly corny, yet a woman’s preference when it comes to movies, shows and music tells you a lot about this individual. For example, a woman who loves Mad Men is probably smarter than a woman who likes Gossip Girl.

Another great topic is travel because it also tells you a lot about this Ukrainian woman. Asking her which countries or cities she has ever been to shows her personality and taste. For instance, a woman who visited Vegas is obviously more interested in parties, whilst a woman who visited Australia is more into the nature. Many Ukrainian ladies are quite introverted and traditional; as a result, their social circle is usually not very big, which is a good sign. That’s because if you are looking for a good wife, you would want her to be more traditional – it’s actually better if she talks less and listens more, right? Also, the Ukrainian culture does not really encourage people to experiment with various styles of dating and alternative relationships. Since playing the field is not a part of the Ukrainian culture, Ukrainian women do not try various styles of dating before they get married. Small wonder most Ukrainian ladies are traditional wives.

“You can combine internet dating with offline dating by joining a dating website and doing the social version of the fun activities that you already do – enjoy going to the gym? Join a group yoga class! Like reading books? Join a local book club!”