Is “being emotional” good or bad in an international relationship?

international relationship

It is said that women are much more emotional than men, but truthfully, men feel everything that women feel – men just express their feelings differently. Because women tend to fully express their feelings and emotions while men don’t, women actually live longer. Clearly, being able to express your emotions is actually a pretty healthy skill, particularly in an international relationship. 

  • In fact, everyone is emotional.

Don’t label someone as “emotional” as if it’s a negative thing. In truth, everybody is emotional because every person is having an emotional experience at each moment in this world. Experience is totally felt through feelings and emotions & that’s just the state of being alive! In other words, being emotional is simply being alive. 

When you keep in touch with your true feelings and real emotion, feel them, understand them, know them and express them, you will master a key skill in international relationships in this way.

Many men are not very good at this because a lot of men grow up thinking “emotions are not good, especially negative emotions”. That is to say, a large number of men get this message: It’s bad to have bad feelings; therefore, never feel bad. Now my question is “What are you going to do with negative feelings?” Since lots of people don’t know how to manage their negative emotions correctly, they either suppress them by pretending they are not even there and letting negative emotions fester or become so intense that they cannot express their emotions cleanly and clearly anymore.

In my opinion, it’s a bit healthier to be expressive in your feelings and emotions than to totally suppress how you feel. I think you need to let your emotions get out in order to live a healthy lifestyle. When emotions aren’t expressed properly, they become abusive and violent inside, which is even worse. Apparently, you don’t want to let things get out of control.

international relationship
  • How to express emotions without getting out of control:

First and foremost, figure out what you are actually feeling internally. Some people are not honest with themselves, e.g., when you feel afraid / jealous / lonely / bored / depressed, can you acknowledge and admit your true feelings? Many people literally can’t because if someone says “I feel very jealous”, this person might look very needy & if someone says “I’m so lonely”, this person looks like a low-value bottom-feeder who doesn’t have friends – Sadly, these are taboos in our culture these days. 

Always think clearly before you speak to your spouse. Remember to strike a balance though – don’t overthink things!

Second, when you talk to your partner about your feelings and emotions, please do not initiate the discussion when she is distracted or busy. You have to find a time when she is totally receptive. 

Next, while remaining calm during the conversation, you have to pay attention to your spouse so that you can support each other properly. Make sure that nobody is triggered. Always use a kind tone and allow space for her to understand what you’ve told her. When she is dysregulated, don’t push your point harder; instead, give her some time and the comfort that she needs. When you feel dysregulated, you can slow down and have a break if it’s necessary.

Managing any relationship isn’t easy. Managing emotions is even harder. I’m sure you will master this skill as an individual and as a couple in an international relationship. 

“When you are able to express your feelings, emotions and thoughts effectively and efficiently, you won’t need to get overly emotional.”

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