Key ideas that will transform the way you approach international dating & love

July 9, 2020 at 1.02am by in International Dating
Ukrainian bride

Dating doesn’t have to be complex, so long as you have understood the following key ideas. Truthfully, I literally call them the secret magic potion. 😊

Your standards must match your skills.

I know the last thing that you want to hear is “have lower standards”. Yet here is the unpleasant truth: If your standards do not match your skills, you will not get the results you desire. Period.

So, the right question isn’t “Should I stick to my high standards?” I would argue that the right question is “How could I work on my skills?”

In life, you will not get what you deserve – you will just get what you actually negotiate. Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a business transaction at all. It’s also not violating Law of Reciprocity. Let me explain.

Your girlfriend will merely become a particular version of herself based on the parameters that you set at the beginning of the romantic relationship. If your girlfriend has done something very wrong and you do not even call her out earlier in the relationship just because you are concerned about losing her, she might assume that it is fine to demonstrate bad behavior repeatedly. Therefore, how you deal with difficult situations in your love life shows what you are actually negotiating for. Does that make sense?

In order to find a high-quality Ukrainian bride, quantity matters at the beginning of your journey. Basically, that means you should meet many potential candidates in the first place. If you choose one out of one option, probably it’s a lousy choice. By contrast, if you choose one out of a lot of options, you will find the right candidate faster. Having abundance is key.

Remember: you should always put yourself first. Without filling your own cup first, you will not have the abundance to share your happiness with anybody else. In other words, you should be satisfied and happy before meeting the right candidate.

How to have a great first date:

We all know that the first impression is so lasting. You just have one chance to build a fantastic first impression. So, the importance of a great first date is key, and let me show you how exactly you can have a memorable first date.

Firstly, just forget about the boring dinner date which only makes you and your Ukrainian lady yawn. Historically and traditionally, most individuals prefer a romantic dinner date as their first date, which is fair enough. However, that is certainly not creative, in my opinion.

As I see it, the dinner date has a few obvious disadvantages: 1) When you are sitting in a restaurant with a total stranger for at least 2 or 3 hours, you must keep the conversation going, even if you don’t even have the chemistry. 2) A typical dinner date forces you to sit down with a person face to face – it’s just like an intimidating job interview. You can’t really relax.

Hence, a much better first date is flexible and relaxing. For example, you may meet your Ukrainian lady in a coffee shop where you’ll spend 30 minutes – 50 minutes. It all depends on if you have chemistry or not. Let’s say the Chemistry has a capital C, you should make the first date a bit longer. But if the chemistry is definitely absent, you may end the first date earlier. It feels more casual and less stressful.

If the first date in the coffeehouse goes pretty well, you may say this to your Ukrainian lady, “Actually, there is a bookshop near this coffeehouse. I will find the book I mentioned just now. We should totally go to the bookshop now.” Now you can extend the first date by taking the lady to the bookshop nearby.

Or you may say this to her, “There is an art gallery nearby. Let me take you there now.” Clearly, if she likes you as well, she will want to go to the art gallery with you.

Note that these two examples do not include a question like “Would you like to visit the art gallery / bookshop with me?” Remember: questions are not very powerful because when you ask her a question, she has 2 questions on her mind: A) “Can I go to the art gallery / bookshop with this guy?” B) “Do I want to go to the art gallery / bookshop with this guy?” But when you use a statement, she just has one question on her mind, “Can I go to the art gallery / bookshop with him?”

Know the difference between love and infatuation.

In the late 90s, Savage Garden released a popular song called A Thousand Words in which Darren illustrates attraction and chemistry in various ways. Yes, attraction and chemistry could be slightly confusing as it includes infatuation and tension… and love. But what’s the main difference between love and infatuation?

In the first place, infatuation is totally fueled by oxytocin, whilst love is definitely fueled by a genuine connection. To be more exact, infatuation is the official term for love-at-first-sight. As you meet an attractive lady, your body and brain instantly release a lot of oxytocin quickly. This instantly builds attraction. Therefore, everything about her is so attractive. However, after a while, the amount of oxytocin reduces, so you may start to wonder why you were obsessed earlier in the relationship.

By contrast, love is clearly based on a genuine connection that is built by a shared blueprint and shared experiences. A shared vision is so key as love is not really about two individuals looking at each other’s eyes (it’s all about two individuals looking at the same direction in life).

In the second place, infatuation almost never lasts for a long time, whereas love can last forever. To be more specific, infatuation isn’t even based on a real and solid foundation. It is clear that when the spark is very intense, it literally makes you feel wonderful. Nevertheless, after the spark is gone, love-at-first-sight doesn’t work anymore.

In contrast, love is so different because it’s very sustainable – the foundation is real and solid. A real relationship with a Ukrainian lady is full of love – it is not really about having sparky and blissful moments all day every day. In fact, it’s all about trusting each other, supporting each other and having faith in each other. Yes, it’s about loving each other unconditionally. That’s why love can last forever.

Last but not least, infatuation feels a bit surreal, while love feels so realistic and practical. If a romantic relationship looks like a movie, maybe it’s just infatuation as it doesn’t look realistic, e.g. you met a lady in a coffeehouse where you both were reaching for the same cup of hot chocolate and then accidentally touched each other’s fingers. Then you began a conversation with her and you hit it off miraculously without any valid reasons. Now you may have to assess if this is 100% infatuation or not.

Though love includes chemistry as well, it’s certainly beyond chemistry as it also has other key aspects such as mutual interests, genuine connection, radical affection, and so on.

“On an international dating site, you should look for love rather than infatuation because Ukrainian ladies are looking for serious relationships.”

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