The importance of rituals in internet dating

I know the idea of goal-setting sounds very exciting, yet sadly, most individuals never achieve their goals in life. Sad but true. As a matter of fact, you need to develop rituals (and actually stick to them) in order to achieve your goals because ordinary things that are done consistently create extraordinary results! Note that the keyword is ‘consistently’. So, if you would like to succeed in internet dating, you need some rituals, too.

• The super power of rituals:

Daniel’s goal is to find a girlfriend within five months. Here are his daily rituals:

1. Spending 30 minutes chatting with women on an internet dating site.
2. Starting conversations with 3 new women, including approaching a lady in a coffeehouse / asking a lady what time it is on the train / asking a lady for directions in the shopping mall / writing an interesting reply to a lady’s comment on his best friend’s Facebook photo.
3. Studying dating skills and female psychology through reading at least 1 chapter of a book.

As Daniel sticks to his rituals every day, it’s very likely for him to achieve his goal within 5 months.

Tim’s goal is to land 2 new clients for his online business within four months. Here are Tim’s daily rituals:

1. Asking 1 person to introduce new clients to his business – This person could be his current client / previous client / relative / friend / neighbor / ex-boss / colleague / ex-colleague / the guy in the café, etc.
2. Spending 30 minutes improving his online business’s Google presence – Search Engine Optimization, Google My Business listing, social media content, and so on.

Since this is consistently done on a daily basis, Tim will probably land 2 new clients quickly.

• What does a realistic goal look like?

In my view, a realistic goal has to be something that could be achieved within six months. Here is my rationale: If your goal is literally about achieving something huge within 6 years, it won’t change what you are going to do next Wednesday. In contrast, if your goal is just about achieving something practical within 5-6 months, it will surely change what you are going to do next Wednesday, as it’s much more compelling and creates urgency.

• How to use emotional buttons:

When it comes to goal-setting, a lot of people only use the analytical approach – they simply use the left brain that makes things too logical. Yet human beings are actually emotional creatures because we are all biologically programmed to be very emotional: When things stimulate feelings and emotions, they have more power. Let me share a famous example so you’ll fully understand what I’m talking about: One of the most well-known Australian fashion brands is Zimmermann. But if you carefully have a look at the care labels of Zimmermann’s clothes, you usually see that their clothes are made in China, made of 100% polyester & have to be dry cleaned. That is to say, the real cost of manufacturing a Zimmermann dress is very, very low; meanwhile, it’s a high-maintenance dress & its quality isn’t necessarily good. However, its price is so high! What’s more, it’s oftentimes the most successful and profitable brand in David Jones, Australia’s upmarket department store. Why is that happening? Fashion marketing experts point out that Zimmermann sells artistic expression, i.e., Zimmermann’s design is extremely creative, so women find Zimmermann clothes very irresistible – they cannot feel that emotion when they wear other fashion brands’ clothes. By contrast, there are a large number of brands that only use 100% linen, cotton, leather and silk to manufacture their clothes & their fabric is mostly from Japan and Europe. But their prices are much lower as they use logic to convince their customers: “Our products are affordable and high-quality.” Unfortunately, customers think when they go shopping, they use their logical brain, yet in truth, that’s certainly not what customers respond to – everybody is emotional: Being a human means each moment is an emotional experience in life. Hopefully you’ve understood the super power of emotions. Now let me show you how to use this super power to your advantage! Let’s say your goal is to find a Slavic girlfriend within 5 months. Apart from daily rituals, you may also do these:

1. Describe how you would feel if you have a Slavic girlfriend – maybe you’ll feel more romantic / attractive / successful, etc.
2. Find out what makes you feel romantic / attractive / successful right now – maybe a movie makes you feel romantic / a song makes you feel attractive / a shirt makes you feel successful… Basically, this movie, this song and this shirt are your emotional buttons that you have to use.
3. See that movie at night & feel the feelings. Listen to that song in the morning and feel the emotions. Wear that shirt when you attend a meeting and feel the feelings

“Keep collecting emotional buttons because they are the best tools in your toolbox!”