Why it is actually okay to feel “needy” in online dating

online dating

There is a reason why people join online dating sites – they need to find someone. There is nothing wrong with that. If you don’t need anyone, you probably wouldn’t visit a dating site in the first place, right? Everybody needs somebody in life. That’s absolutely normal. Unfortunately, in modern-day society, feeling needy has become a taboo already. Hence, we should totally get rid of the stigma! 

  • It’s definitely not “needy” to connect with someone; it’s just human.

Dot told me that she feels “too needy” as she is eager to connect with her husband more. Ivana told me that she feels her husband is “too needy”, for he wants to connect with her more. Sometimes these people are right: the “needy” person doesn’t have enough self-assurance, so they use their spouses to fill an empty hole that they can’t stand. Nonetheless, I have to point out that most people have already bought into a common belief which is popular in contemporary society – this belief unfortunately idolizes individuality. 

In reality, humans are totally social creatures; that is to say, we are pair-bonding creatures by nature. In my view, it’s certainly not “needy” to want connection; it’s only human. 😊

Human beings are biologically programmed to be connected to each other. No one is designed to be an island. Connection and love are the ultimate driver of our evolution. We are the most successful species on the planet because of love and connection! 😉

  • The complete loner is a real exception.

If someone is a complete loner, that’s fine. I don’t judge them because I also respect that. A close friend of mine is a total loner and she plans to be alone for the rest of her life, as she really doesn’t want to be married, which is absolutely okay. There is nothing wrong with her decision. What I am saying is although everyone needs alone time as well, the real loner is very, very, very, very rare. In western culture the drive to independence is not natural because it doesn’t really make people happy and content. Those who don’t have human connection look for satisfaction via power and money as well as other external things such as fame. Sadly, a large number of individuals even seek satisfaction via alcohol, drugs & excessive entertainment so as to distract themselves from the disconnection or to numb their painful emotions and feelings. Realistically, none of those offer the true contentment and real satisfaction that authentic connection can give us.

How do people get authentic connection? Through online dating, doing things for each other & knowing other people and being known by others. 

Of course, you can find human connection outside romantic relationships, too – that’s because connection also exists amongst family members, co-workers, friends and neighbors. Don’t stay home for several months without meeting anyone. I understand that you might stay at home for a long time because of the current COVID-19 crisis around the world, yet please consider going out and wearing a mask so that you can meet a real person in real life instead of checking Facebook every 5 minutes.

I don’t know when the pandemic will officially end, but I know international travel has become possible in many countries already. Many men who met their Eastern European ladies online during the pandemic are happily married now because of our website. Perhaps you can be our next success story!

“When you think you feel needy, think again – it’s clearly very normal to feel that way because you are only human. Human beings desire connection as that is just human nature. Don’t let loneliness consume you.”

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